Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . .

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. BY all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

I do not participate in a sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.